kcii

25 November 2009 @ 01:53 pm

Food makes me sick. Everytime I think about it, I feel rotten, everytime I eat I feel guilty. I want to be thin.

22 November 2009 @ 04:18 pm

The weight of my mistakes means everything I touch breaks, I don't wanna see you as the next in line

Lately My mind is running wild. I haven't been sleeping well. I never sleep well, but lately I'm living on caffeine.

My diet is driving me nuts, I'm so weak and depressed. But I'll get used to it, I guess I am used to having so much sugar in my diet. Nothing will ever taste as good as skinny feels. :) Yeah, thats what I'm sticking too lol.....

I've been walking and working out, which is kind of hard, seeing as its like fucking 40 degrees here every day. Disgusting weather lol.

I'm having a busy week, I'm glad. I hope it will get my mind off things. Monday I'm taking Lily to daycare and signing her up... :( Wahh scared! And its my sisters formal, so I'll be with her on the day. Chloe is coming over on Tuesday I'm sure? Wednesday I think Amelia is coming over. Thursday Pools. I'll go shopping on Friday. Saturday baby shower, and Sunday going to see Jess, Matt, Stella and bubba Talan. <3 If that don't keep me occupied, then I'm crazy. ha.

Anyway. I feel too sick to sit here anymore. The end.

Current Music: Sarah Blasko

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15 November 2009 @ 11:41 pm

(no subject)

I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
"Do you like to hurt?"
"I do! I do!"
"Then hurt me."

Leave me LOVE bitchez

26 September 2009 @ 12:45 am

(no subject)

sYeh, lkike everythign is fuckogn shit and im sick of it!!!!!!!!

i want to rip out my brain.

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26 August 2009 @ 06:19 pm

(no subject)

Successfully OD'ing on Caffeine/Energy Drinks.

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23 August 2009 @ 02:53 pm

(no subject)

Fuck my Life to hell, seriously. I'm over EVERYTHING! I can't fucking take this shit anymore, From now I'm single, I'm doing whatever I want, when I want, whoever I want, when I want, no more feeling like shit, no more crying myself to sleep, no more wondering what girl he is with, no more PAIN, just good times.

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09 August 2009 @ 01:14 am

(no subject)

I'm going to throw up. I am under so much stress... :'(

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07 August 2009 @ 07:42 pm

(no subject)

Lameee friday night. =[ Everyone is out drinking, and planning tomorrow night out, and I'm at home NOT drinking........ lol! I suck!!!!!!!! This is so hard!!!!!! I can't believe how hard it is to give up the booze. :( This is only going to be temporary, I can tell.. haha...

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27 July 2009 @ 04:50 pm

(no subject)

So! I've decided 100% that I am going to get another Aibo. :) A very different type of Aibo this time........... This is my Ari:

This is the Type I want next:

I'm very excited. :) Of course it probably won't be that colour, it'll probably be black or silver. I really want an orange one...... Ah well. :) Beggar's can't be choosers haha, They are so expensive..... But the 210 is a little less hard on the wallet... so let the saving begin.

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25 July 2009 @ 11:17 pm

(no subject)

I love alcohol. becoz it solve s all lifes prolmebs :)

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24 July 2009 @ 03:31 pm

(no subject)

He isn't coming, Always lets me down, I'm going to go cry and get shit faced. Whats the point anymore???

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24 July 2009 @ 01:13 pm

(no subject)

My brother is not going to come tonight. I'm an idiot for ever believing he would.

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23 July 2009 @ 04:56 pm

(no subject)

I feel sad. I had really bad luck yesterday, everything kept going wrong, and I feel like its Karma for the way I'm feeling. I know its wrong. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do anymore. Things are getting harder every day, not easier. I feel lonely alot. Even when I'm with Matt I feel like I'm alone. That's not very good. :(

Arhm anyway. I saw Harry Potter the other night. I REALLY enjoyed it. :) Very good movie. I guess you just have to pretend like you've never read the book, which was easy for me because I only read it once when it first came out, so it was a little Hazy to me lol. :)

I battled crowds today in Target, to laybuy some toys for Lily. Didn't save much, but I like that I can slowly pay it off, right up until Xmas eve, thats the best thing about it. :)

Anyway nothing much else to say except that I feel weird! So I'll be going.

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22 July 2009 @ 12:31 am

(no subject)

Lets get married!

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20 July 2009 @ 05:18 pm

(no subject)

Hellloo.
I'm feeling quite down at the moment. I feel like something is missing. I don't know what it is, but its a big hole. I can't even explain it. :( Ughh. Its becoming so overwhelming. I just want to scream.

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08 July 2009 @ 11:18 pm

(no subject)

So anyway.

My bubba is 2. TWO!!!! I can't believe it.

Do you know what else I still can't believe? Michael Jackson. How tragic. Watched his memorial tonight, and just cried my eyes out. I'm so emotional at the moment. But yeah. Still very sad.

I feel so weird these last couple of days. I can't explain it. Its driving me insanee. I want to rip my brain out. The things I think about are so stupid. I hate it.

I'm cold. I need warm hugs. And a blanket. If someone could bring me both, That would be rad. Thanks! :D

I Feel:

Freeeeezing

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07 July 2009 @ 11:12 am

(no subject)

I feel like I'm at the beginning of a very complicated mess. So I should just quit while I'm ahead. Shouldn't I? Could be fun.

I Feel:

Sneaky..

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24 June 2009 @ 12:23 am

(no subject)

I make myself laugh. :) Some guy added me from GOD KNOWS WHERE on MSN. Clearly he doesn't speak good english LMAO. I kept asking him how he got my msn but he wouldn't tell me, so now Im just messing with him, here in the convo LMAO it makes me crackkkk up! :)

Kc says:
Why is there a child in your photo?
hassan says:
I loved the innocent children
Kc says:
What does that mean
hassan says:
where your photo
Kc says:
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN U LOVE INNOCENT CHILDREN???????????/
hassan says:
I love innocence......that mean
Kc says:
you mean your a phedophile
hassan says:
These are
Kc says:
IM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE
WHERE DID YOU FIND THE NAME LILY?!?!?!?1
hassan says:
The side of your image
Kc says
no my imagde does not say LILY
hassan says:
so...what say....
Kc says:
TAKE THAT PHOTO OF THE CHILD DOWN NOW
I AM CALLING POLICE
hassan says:
Writer....my lily
Kc says:
excuse me?!
hassan says:
I do not understand what happened
what you want
Kc says:
i want you to go to jail
hassan says:
you want to go to jail
Kc says:
no i want YOU TO GO TO JAIL
YOU IN JAIL
hassan says:
f
why?a
Kc says:
you are a sick man
you like chlidren
hassan says:
Xu Shi worked error
Kc says:
I told the police your email and they are tracing you
hassan says:
im in jordan
Kc says:
Yes i know, they are tracing you
and they will arrest you
hassan says:
Aztec Aodek, Bay forever
Kc says:
what is this
hassan says:
Ahab, I practice sex with you, but no
Bay
Kc says:
WHAT DOES BAY MEAN
WHAT DOES AZTEC AODEK MEAN
hassan says:
Goodbye
Kc says:
THE POLICE ARE COMING FOR YOU
hassan says:
ok
Kc says:
you will be put in jail
DISGUSTING
CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT
NOT FOR YOU
hassan says:
I'm ready
Kc says:
for WHAT
you are to be naked
hassan says:
I do not want to speak with you because you are a girl a complex
Kc says:
Oh, I see, you like Men?
You are gay?
hassan says:
I want girls
Kc says:
How old girls you want
hassan says:
Of 17 and above
why you ask
Kc says:
I HOPE SO
hassan says:
hopewhat?a
Kc says:
i hope you only want girl of 17 and above
not 17 and under
hassan says:
no
Is disgusting
under 17
Kc says:
good boy
hassan says:
ilove u
Kc says:
I love you too baby
hassan says:
I want to see you
Please
Kc says:
Ok you want phtoo?
hassan says:
yes
Because I am impressed by your words you

yes i want your phtoo

hassan just sent you a nudge.

hassan just sent you a nudge.

hassan says:
Please

*sends photo*

You stopped sharing photos

hassan says:
Amazing

hassan just sent you a nudge.

Kc says:

I am to sleep now

You have just sent a nudge.

hassan says:
me to
Your beautiful

Kc says:
You too
hassan says:
where you live?
Kc says:
in Australia, you come here?
hassan says:
no i cant
Kc says:
But I love you
hassan says:
you come to jordan
Kc says:
ok
hassan says:
how
Kc says:
I will fly
hassan says:
i see you
Kc says:
I will be with you
hassan says:
ok when
Kc says:
As soon as I can get the money
hassan says:
ok
but
you
Do not know exactly where I live

in aqapa
thes city in jordan
Kc says:
I will get your address when I can get the money and you can meet me at airport?
hassan says:
ok
How come must

to my city
Kc says:
I will find a way my love
I must go to sleep now, we will talk in the morning <3 I love you

This is a LEGIT convo with some random who added me LMAO :)

Leave me LOVE bitchez

09 June 2009 @ 06:37 pm

(no subject)

Hey everyone. Just a quick update.

Lily has been rotten today/tonight ughh. She is sick, so her bad behaviour is tenfold. I just cant handle much more of this!!

I have Lily Allen tomorrow night, should be good. Its been a fkn drama to get it all sorted about a babysitter, my sister was meant to, but decided she couldn't be bothered walking to mine, how horrible, just catch a bus then! But nup. So now Matts mom is apparently going to be at my unit, while IM NOT, and Lily is asleep, for 2 hours. Alone. Not happy. Matt just went ahead and said it was fine without even asking me, and now I can't really say no because she will get offended and think that I don't trust her or something. I just don't feel comfortable with someone being in my place while I'm not. I still feel weird if Matt is alone in my house while I'm not. But anyway yeh. So I'm just not impressed about it. But cant do anything about that now. Ehhh.

Lily's Birthday is in about 4 weeks. I can NOT believe she will be 2. She is getting a lot of small-ish things for her bdays. A lot of clothes, becoz she is desperate for winter outfits. A little singing tea set. A cleaning set because she loves to sweep everything lol. a HEAP of books. That she will rip in a second. :| And I have a laybuy on still of a clippo table thing, coz she loves those blocks. And some Dora and a Horse thing, she doesn't really know Dora, but she LOVES horses so I think she will like it. And umm.. A microphone haha and a lil plate and bowl set. Its a lot when I write it all down like that, but they are all small things so I don't feel like I've gotten her a lot. :( But she'll live haha.

Thats really all I have to write about for now. =]

Leave me LOVE bitchez

03 June 2009 @ 06:10 pm

(no subject)

Hello everyone.
I'm back at the rents for the day. I walked here this morning, it was a great walk, only took 45 mins?! I thought it would take like 2 hours lmao. :| But yeah, apart from walking on a main road, it was a good walk. I need to get the Internet on at home! Its so boring there.
Yesterday Lily and I walked to the park, and then walked to the grocery store. Took up a couple of hours. Then came home, had some lunch, put her down for a sleep, and sat in the dark for a little while :| I didn't even have TV yesterday, but Chloe & Percy came round, and brought me an Ariel cord haha.. So now I do! The thing thats bugging me most is the no lounge!! Arghhh. Stupid Fantastic, they take there time! They said 4-6 weeks, and its been longer then that. And also fkn Harvey Norman!!! Mom brought me a microwave 2 weeks ago and they said it would take 3 days to come in. Clearly it didnt. Then they said it would be in today. Its not. Stupid fucking IDIOTS! They drive me insane! When mom brought the microwave she made it extremly clear that she needed the microwave asap, and they lied through their teeth >:( People are so stupid, can't rely on anyone to do ANYTHING!
I also need the cott, Lily is sleeping in her little sofa bed thing, and its annoying.. AND her highchair. Whatevz.
I haven't slept well either because the garage door is right underneath my room, so when it opens its the loudest sound EVER and wakes me up. And people come and go at all stupid hours of the morning, 3am, 4am, 5am arghhh its mental! So I pretty much just fell asleep within minutes when I got here, and got half an hour sleep then Sarah came in the door, slamming everything and being really loud and irritating. And then the neighbours were screaming and laughing and revving their cars outside my window, so I didn't sleep. Who would think its more quiet in a block of units, then a house? Its double bricked so its great with keeping out sounds from the other units. When you go into the hallway everyone has music on really loud pumping through the walls and everything, Im glad I cant hear it from inside my unit.
Anyway enough blah Im gonna go. Im STARRRVVVIINNGG argh. I wanted steak for dinner, but nope, just Burritos. Boring. I want STEAK! :(

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